Small Life, Slow Life: 81/100 {The conclusion to the cliffhanger. AKA, don’t make a two year-old your flower girl.}

V did not, in fact, make it down the aisle to support her cousin in being co-flower girl. Not even close.

Instead, she threw somewhat of a tantrum five minutes before the ceremony about wanting “bee-yannas,” and the nice man working the bar actually ran off for five minutes to bring his own bananas that he had packed in his lunch to give to her.

Crisis averted.

Then the ceremony started and there was absolutely zero way she was going to complacently hold her cousin’s arm while serenely walking down the aisle distributing flower petals. So we sat down on the groom’s side and I figured I’d at least see half of the ceremony that we flew all the way to Mexico for.

And we made it about a whole thirty seconds before she started yelling “SHHH BE QUIET, IT’S QUIET TINE!” as the poor nervous officiant said his first few lines. (Yes, “tine.” I don’t know why she thinks “time” is spoken with an ‘n’ sound, and correcting her doesn’t help.)

So we left.

And I sadly listened to everyone laughing and clapping from a distance. I’m sure it was beautiful.

We finally made it to the reception (after she demanded to take on and off her shoes no less than four times), but dinner was not to be served until the speeches concluded.

I’m sure you know how wedding speeches go.

V started absolutely losing her mind, a la The Exorcist, and my sweet husband went all the way back to our hotel room to get her a snack. A short while later I saw him absolutely full-out sprinting, Terminator style, back to us. Sprinting.

This is a man who gets what can happen when a toddler is tired and hungry.

I swear I have never loved him more than I did in that moment.

She finally KO’d around 8pm, when I waved my white flag, kissed the bride and groom goodbye and carried her across the resort (I have never carried anything this heavy so far for so many days in a row) back to our room. I wiped her face and feet with a baby wipe, put on Elmo and kissed that worn out toddler goodnight. She’s in the bed next to us, out cold. Nothing is waking that kid up tonight.

All in all, a successful trip to Mexico for a wedding with a two year-old and my in-laws. Not for the faint of heart, but I’m grateful all the same.