I went gluten-free 11(ish?) years ago. I’m not allergic, I just feel better when I don’t eat it — less bloated, no cystic acne, etc. I have been eating it while pregnant, because…I’m pregnant? And anything goes right now. One of the things that C and I have always had in common is a desire … Continue reading
How I got pregnant naturally a month before I turned 40.
Giant bold disclaimer: Of course, I need to start out by saying that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to getting pregnant at an “advanced maternal age,” and that I what I did of course won’t work for everyone. This is simply my story of how we overcame “secondary infertility” at age 39 and went on … Continue reading
I am 17 weeks pregnant with a mysterious baby girl who decided to nestle in my belly one month before I turned 40. We found out on Christmas Day; I was just making sure I was good to drink at a family gathering when I saw the faint second line appear. “It won’t stick,” I … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: My big breakup was almost 9 years ago. Here’s what I thought then vs. what I know now.
Then, I thought the breakup was a series of mistakes that I made that I could have corrected if history had arranged itself differently.For months I went over the days leading up to the breakup, analyzing every word we spoke to each other, dissecting the fights that had been increasing in frequency. It felt like … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: The Modern-day Breakup Kit.
A really close friend just recently went through an earth-shattering, out-of-the-blue breakup. It happened on a Friday and she called me on Saturday morning. “I read your blog,” she said tearfully.“Oh geez, don’t do that!” I said, feeling like those blogs from so long ago couldn’t possibly help anyone now. It made me think about … Continue reading
The two most important things I’ve learned in the last five years.
I realized something important about myself about three years ago, and it has become a kind of talisman that I touch when I need a reminder to trust myself. It guides me when I’m lost in the woods about a decision. It nudges me on when I’m afraid to take a risk. And it calms … Continue reading
It’s a terrible time to be having a terrible time.
Lately, a lot more of you have been commenting, which I love. I love to hear from you. And my heart is just absolutely been going out to those of you who are having a terrible time during such a terrible time. This is a horrible time to lose someone, to be jobless, to be … Continue reading
Can I accept even this?The crepe-like skin that has appeared on my neck in the last twelve months, visible from any angle, in any light, but definitely at its worst when I turn my head. Can I be at peace with even this?The veins on my hands, shaped like oak branches, becoming three-dimensional. Can I … Continue reading
I see the discarded pregnancy tests in the trash as I toss in a tampon wrapper. These unlikely plastic adversaries sit beside each other: one a symbol of hope, the other of failure. Immediately, I think, Ugh, I’ll take the trash out so I don’t have to look at those. Then, correcting myself, I think, … Continue reading
A small & slow holiday season.
We’re at the very end of December, arguably my favorite time of year. The special padding of time between Christmas and New Year’s always feels like a bonus week that moves extra slow. I really savor it. I spent most of December working & baking. I really thought this holiday season would be different because … Continue reading