Big Update!

Big Update!

I am 17 weeks pregnant with a mysterious baby girl who decided to nestle in my belly one month before I turned 40. We found out on Christmas Day; I was just making sure I was good to drink at a family gathering when I saw the faint second line appear. “It won’t stick,” I … Continue reading

Small Life, Slow Life: The Modern-day Breakup Kit.

Small Life, Slow Life: The Modern-day Breakup Kit.

A really close friend just recently went through an earth-shattering, out-of-the-blue breakup. It happened on a Friday and she called me on Saturday morning. “I read your blog,” she said tearfully.“Oh geez, don’t do that!” I said, feeling like those blogs from so long ago couldn’t possibly help anyone now. It made me think about … Continue reading

Acceptance.

Acceptance.

Can I accept even this?The crepe-like skin that has appeared on my neck in the last twelve months, visible from any angle, in any light, but definitely at its worst when I turn my head. Can I be at peace with even this?The veins on my hands, shaped like oak branches, becoming three-dimensional. Can I … Continue reading

Face it.

Face it.

I see the discarded pregnancy tests in the trash as I toss in a tampon wrapper. These unlikely plastic adversaries sit beside each other: one a symbol of hope, the other of failure. Immediately, I think, Ugh, I’ll take the trash out so I don’t have to look at those. Then, correcting myself, I think, … Continue reading

A small & slow holiday season.

A small & slow holiday season.

We’re at the very end of December, arguably my favorite time of year. The special padding of time between Christmas and New Year’s always feels like a bonus week that moves extra slow. I really savor it. I spent most of December working & baking. I really thought this holiday season would be different because … Continue reading