small life, slow life

Lately, a lot more of you have been commenting, which I love. I love to hear from you. And my heart is just absolutely been going out to those of you who are having a terrible time during such a terrible time. This is a horrible time to lose someone, to be jobless, to be isolated from your family. I really, really get it.

Well, I should say, I get it now.

As an introvert, I have not had as hard a time during this pandemic as many have, for which I have been immensely grateful. I like to be at home and I really love to live in my head — writing and reading, playing games (video + board), doing puzzles with my daughter…you get the point. Lately I’ve been learning piano which has been equal parts difficult and satisfying.

Starting last week, though, I definitely noticed I’ve been feeling extremely off, and I could not figure out why. I had extra time away from work, had plenty of time for hobbies, made new recipes, sat outside in the sun. Yet still I felt it — this undercurrent of snappiness, shortness, frustration.

Three days later, I finally figured out that I was lonely. (Honestly I’m such an idiot sometimes.) Lonely for grownups, for friends, for peers.

I’m sad. Like everyone else, I’m ready for this to be over. I miss my friends, I miss being out (or at work) without a mask on, I especially miss Disneyland during such a simpler time when I could brush shoulders with a stranger and not immediately fear being infected. While I can be a homebody more than most, even I have my limit, and have definitely been feeling down.

And tonight, I found out my dad has COVID. He exercises and takes care of himself, but he has always worked too much and he smokes. 😦

Even for an introvert, this time has been really tough. Working with the public and having a large staff, the last three months have been extremely taxing as team member after team member has been exposed or has gotten the virus. We barely made it through the week of Christmas with enough staff to help our guests. Just when that was feeling better, now, my dad. And don’t even get me started on what happened in DC last week.

This is all a long way of saying, I’m reaching across the digital divide and giving your hand a squeeze. I know you’re suffering, and I’m thinking about you.

You may feel lonely, but you’re not alone. ♥️