I don’t like myself when my kid takes forever falling asleep and I’m short as hell and snippy with her. She can’t control when she falls asleep. (But God, if she could!) I don’t like myself when I overbook my days and even a reasonable family visit feels like a burden. I don’t like myself … Continue reading
I sat in my therapist’s office on Friday, trying to find any other subject to talk about instead of the one prominently on my mind. I don’t get to see her that often (maybe once a month?), and I talked about absolutely everything else. Until I finally said, “So, today is day 100 of writing. … Continue reading
Today was 99% wonderful. V was really restless last night, and between her and C and Rolo sleeping (what felt like) completely on top of me, I didn’t sleep at all. But C granted me extra in-bed-alone time this morning and took V downstairs solo. (Thank you husband.) So by the time I hit my … Continue reading
It’s here. It is over. This is Day 100; I have written here every single day for one hundred days. I can’t believe it. I feel fulfilled, alive, and sad. (I also still haven’t decided if I’m breaking up with the Oxford comma, or not.) Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma? –Vampire Weekend … Continue reading
It happened today. All of the tension from the last couple of weeks, boiling hot, bubbling over, and then, ker-splat. I left my in-laws’ house so frustrated. With myself, for not speaking up. With my daughter, for behaving in the most nightmarish way possible, a way that she literally doesn’t even act except around them. … Continue reading
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a holiday which always makes me feel a little empty and blue, though I think I may be okay this year. As I sensed it coming up, I offered to work, which shocked a lot of people. But honestly, it was what felt right for me this year; I doubt I will … Continue reading
I turned over in bed last night, and bumped into someone sleeping beside me. But it wasn’t my husband, it was V. Which is not a surprise, because V sleeps with us every night. Yep, we cosleep. Not any different from extended nursing, this was never our plan or anything we wanted! The story goes … Continue reading
Today, my friend Elizabeth and I took V to Target. We walked through all the sections in our usual order (necklaces, baby aisle, toys — this is all dictated by V, not me), and at last, we got to the holiday section. At some point V looked back at us and said, “I love Christmas!” … Continue reading
V did not, in fact, make it down the aisle to support her cousin in being co-flower girl. Not even close. Instead, she threw somewhat of a tantrum five minutes before the ceremony about wanting “bee-yannas,” and the nice man working the bar actually ran off for five minutes to bring his own bananas that … Continue reading
If you would have asked me how I was feeling about traveling internationally with my two year-old yesterday, I would have told you that I was not excited. I was so nervous about getting her up at 4:45am, the drive to the airport, the five hour flight, and the car trip to the hotel. V … Continue reading
