(These. Photos. Am I right?! I saw them on Tumblr and felt a jolt of recognition, and of course, they were taken in Fukushima.)
I’ve been in a dreamy haze, writing a lot on my own. I told C today that as I start to write more, by myself on a real computer, and not swiping across phone keys while V squirms on my lap — I just want to sink deeper and deeper into those moments where I can follow a thought to its twisty conclusion, where I can listen to a song as many times in a row as it takes me to transcribe the feeling.
But the reality is that those moments are few and far between, because of how full our schedules are. In all things, I eventually learn to be patient.
V is doing really well. Despite having a little cough, she is so cheerful and smart lately, saying full sentences (always) with correct pronouns (sometimes), astounding me every day. We’re starting to tour preschools this week, and I’m already gonna cry, so I just won’t talk about it instead.
Which way my career is going to go is still completely up in the air, as we wait and see if James gets the role he interviewed for. I still don’t know when my own interview will be, or which role I’ll get. But I am comfortable waiting. Work has been pretty close to perfect lately, and I’m in no rush to shake it up. I will miss being with James and Matt everyday so much, so I’m not anxious.
Currently reading: A Very Large Expanse of Sea. Came highly recommended, and rated so highly on Goodreads. But man, I want to like this book a lot more than I actually do, especially being married into a Persian family. We’ll see if it turns around.
Currently listening: 1. Cheryl Strayed on Oprah’s Super Soul podcast. Sooooo good. I’d kiss that woman if I ever met her in person.
2. Sara Bareilles: “Islands” and “Basket Case.” The later in particular transports me right back to Japan, frosty winter nights, headphones in, walking for miles to try to escape my own darkness. “Islands” makes me think of those panicked hours after the quake when daylight evaporated and I couldn’t get in contact with anyone.
It’s like I’m standing on the edge of just a telephone wire
Trying to get to it first to say the world’s on fire
Holding my breath until I know you’re alright
Because the water will only rise
Currently watching: Last year’s season of Top Chef that popped up on Hulu. It’s mindless and fun. Next, it’s been recommended that we watch “The Endless.” Has anyone else heard of it? Liked it? I love time loop stories!