The sun offered a tender warmth on a day that felt like early September at seventy-one degrees, not mid-December. Mountains rose up behind us so clear, you could see every little peak and boulder. Down on the grass, still perilously soft from last week’s rain, spinning pinwheels and gladiolas marked loved ones who have moved … Continue reading
Tagged with grief …
Small Life, Slow Life: Blogging through the end of the year, at least!
I sat in my therapist’s office on Friday, trying to find any other subject to talk about instead of the one prominently on my mind. I don’t get to see her that often (maybe once a month?), and I talked about absolutely everything else. Until I finally said, “So, today is day 100 of writing. … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: 88/100 {Is practicing the law of attraction a waste of time?}
Pam Grout, a really well-known law of attraction type author (she wrote E-Squared and E-Cubed), just lost her perfectly healthy twenty-five year-old daughter to an aneurysm. I read her blog post about it and found myself crying as I did, imagining what a cannon ball to the core it would feel like to lose my … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: 86/100 {The new iPhone, and the Woolsey Fire.}
I got the new iPhone today. Literally one day after mentioning that I’m happiest when I’m not on my phone. (Sigh.) I’ve been wanting it for a while. Its camera is much better than the camera I had, and besides the fact that I take 10,000 photos of V a year (not exaggerating, there are … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: 79/100 {Here in Mexico, but with hearts in California.}
We’re here in Cancún, but our hearts are in California, where many of our loved ones and coworkers have already been evacuated. There are huge fires going on in both northern and Southern California; my sister has been evacuated from the NorCal fire. The Borderline shooting in Thousand Oaks also hit way too close to … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: 27/100 {When I went to a place I used to go during my breakup. And felt…nothing.}
I’m not the same girl who was so haunted by C leaving. Yesterday, I took V to a restaurant for a quick lunch. I fussed around ordering, getting her settled and into a high chair. I didn’t even think about it until we were seated outside with our food. Oh yeah. I used to come … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: 7/100 | Goodbye Sophie.
Today we said goodbye to Sophie, our ten year-old mini schnauzer. It was a really difficult decision my mom and I made together after considering the amount Sophie was suffering, and the amount she’s suffered her whole life. Being in the presence of someone/something who dies isn’t something I’ve done a lot in my life, … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: On the 5th Anniversary of our Breakup.
Today is October 15th. Five years ago, I came home from work, and as C trimmed his toenails (true story), I said I still didn’t feel like things were okay between us, and he agreed. I never imagined what he’d finally work up to say just twenty minutes later. “I think I need to be … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: Why is Letting Go So Freaking Hard?! [Tips, tricks, quotes + a story.]
I had to forgive someone recently. Let’s just call a spade to spade: man, it’s shitty to have to do it. And I knew I had to do it, because thoughts of this person were consuming my mind. I couldn’t sleep. And no matter how well things were going on any particular day, my conversations … Continue reading
Small Life, Slow Life: Quick Links on Grief + Updates (Third Trimester — say WHAT?!)
I love the above quote because it is true. It’s all the advice I read when I was struggling, and in the end, it was the only thing that worked. Trying to manifest things back failed. Making a love altar in the northeast corner of my apartment failed. Even crying for weeks in a therapist’s office … Continue reading