Long time, no blog! 🙂
I’ve had this post milling in my thoughts for some time now, and you’ll soon see why I had to wait until now to write it.
It was an incredible holiday season this year, much better than the previous holidays. I was super into it, work was busy and incredible, C and I got super into the holiday spirit this year and we had a beautiful Christmas tree!
Since January began, my contract completed at work (I was the store manager for seven months) so I’m back in my original position, we MOVED(!!!!), and I am happily, finally getting back into the groove of living a little smaller and slower, which you guys know is at the heart of why I blog here. We went on a beautiful trip to Cambria and Monterey last week, which is the first true vacation I’ve taken in over a year. (2015 was definitely more Big Life, Fast Life than Small Life, Slow Life!)
But I think the biggest news that I’ve been waiting to share…
…is that C and I are expecting our first baby in July!
We’re so excited! Starting our family was in our goals for next year, but we know that life has its own timing and we’re ecstatic to welcome him/her this year! We’re so happy to say baby is happy and healthy so far.
And this is the reason behind why I’m writing this to you today.
I’ve been falling behind with the comments on Small Life, Slow Life: How I Got My Ex Back. That post really put this blog on the map and I am truly so grateful, every single day. It was a post I wrote in 20 minutes that saw no action for six months, and then it got a comment. And then another. I was SO excited when it reached its first 100 comments, and then it hit 200, 300, 500…now it’s almost at 800 comments and more pour in by the day.
So here’s the thing. When C and I broke up and I was in the depths of my misery, I always swore that if he were to ever come back to me, that I would share the story of how he did so I could help people. I remember desperately googling all the same search terms you guys have in order to get him back to me. In the end, I learned that letting him go, just like with anything else, was the only way to have a chance at him returning.
So when he did come back, I kept true to my promise. I wrote the blog and I never in my wildest dreams imagined that it would help so many people. I really enjoyed reading your comments and helping you. I also loved when, a few months later, you would come back and tell me how much better you were feeling!
Somewhere along the way, I started to feel totally responsible for answering your comments. There wasn’t one that went by that I didn’t answer. Most of you were incredibly respectful, but some of you didn’t read the blog at all and just wanted me to tell you how to manipulate or play games with your exes. When my phone would ding with “You have a new comment,” I would read your stories and feel like I had to answer immediately.
And on some level, and maybe this sounds silly…but your pain became my pain. I’m a really sensitive person and when I would get your heart-wrenching stories, my heart would actually completely ache for you too. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much time I’ve spent answering comments back, thinking about you, worrying about you, considering your situation and what you should do.
It is a true privilege to help you. It is also draining.
Sometime toward the end of last year, the comments were pouring in by the dozen each day and I started to wonder if I’d really done the right thing by making a commitment to answer every single one of your comments. Additionally, I felt that blog turning very much into an advice column where you were constantly asking me for strategy on how to manipulate/attract your exes back, when the whole point of it was me saying “YOU HAVE TO LET YOUR EX GO BECAUSE HE/SHE DOESN’T EVEN MATTER; YOU DO.”
So then I wrote Small Life, Slow Life: I Honestly Don’t Care If You Get Your Ex Back. Bingo! I thought. This will do it.
So, long story short, at the end of the day this is what I’m here to tell you: I’m not going to answer the comments on that blog anymore.
It doesn’t mean I’ll stop being in relationship with you; it just means that I’m done giving advice about ex boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives.
It’s going to be hard for me and I will miss it. But I work full time, I’m married, and we’re bringing a baby into the world. But mostly, I think I’ve done enough. 772 comments back and forth on how to heal, how to let go, what C was thinking, what exactly I did and when I did it…it’s enough. I’ve put enough information out into the universe on how to let go of you ex…and why that’s the only way you can truly get him/her back in a way that lasts.
I feel complete.
I absolutely 100% still want a relationship with you and I still want to blog here. That’s really important to me. I want to get back to this blog’s original intention, which is how to live a smaller, slower, happier life. And I think right now, while I’m expecting and learning how to shift my priorities, is the perfect time to do that.
It doesn’t mean I’ll never answer another comment. It’s just that I can’t continue to keep up with the amount of comments that pour in on that particular subject.
I hope you understand and I hope we can still be friends. ❤
I look forward to continuing to talk with you as the years go by. I’ll be here. I hope you will too!