Then, I thought the breakup was a series of mistakes that I made that I could have corrected if history had arranged itself differently.For months I went over the days leading up to the breakup, analyzing every word we spoke to each other, dissecting the fights that had been increasing in frequency. It felt like … Continue reading
A really close friend just recently went through an earth-shattering, out-of-the-blue breakup. It happened on a Friday and she called me on Saturday morning. “I read your blog,” she said tearfully.“Oh geez, don’t do that!” I said, feeling like those blogs from so long ago couldn’t possibly help anyone now. It made me think about … Continue reading
The things in life that make me the most tired are being in the places (read: among the people) where I don’t feel fully free. What does “fully free” mean? It means that I can speak my mind, even if my thoughts are small or irritated or petty, and not worry about being loved any … Continue reading
Five years ago today, my husband, C, proposed. Never heard the story? Don’t worry; I wrote all about it, here, five years ago. I wasn’t sure about marrying C. I mean, we’d broken up a lot of times. All of them were difficult. At times we seemed to bring out the worst in one another. … Continue reading
I’m not the same girl who was so haunted by C leaving. Yesterday, I took V to a restaurant for a quick lunch. I fussed around ordering, getting her settled and into a high chair. I didn’t even think about it until we were seated outside with our food. Oh yeah. I used to come … Continue reading
“I think you’re a very good mama,” my husband says, touching the top of my head as he brushes by me to get something in another room. He says it in passing. I don’t respond in time. What he doesn’t know: At that moment, I am feeling like the biggest fattest failure of a mama. … Continue reading
The best laid plans. I had all of these ideas for the blog today, and instead my kid had a 102-degree fever and cried most of the night and definitely cried all of today. C came home around 1:30 and I had to be at work at 3. So here I am, on my ten … Continue reading
Let me back up. I was having breakfast with a dear friend this morning who has known me a long, long time. She knows all about this blog and about all of you, of course. We were talking about our lives, relationships, careers and the future. And suddenly, I just said out loud what I’ve … Continue reading
Today is October 15th. Five years ago, I came home from work, and as C trimmed his toenails (true story), I said I still didn’t feel like things were okay between us, and he agreed. I never imagined what he’d finally work up to say just twenty minutes later. “I think I need to be … Continue reading
Our little girl Violet was lifted into the world three weeks ago yesterday, on July 22nd, 2016. I say “lifted” because she was a c-section birth. A friend told me the story of her daughter’s c-section by sharing that the nurse had said, “Some babies need to be lifted into this world rather than … Continue reading
