I’m getting sick, everyone says.
Except that it’s not like that, not really.
Yesterday, at 4:54pm, we were in the car. I’d felt great all day. V had been sick, and James as well, but I’ve been fortunate and haven’t gotten sick once since summer. One could even say I was getting a little cocky about it.
“I’m back, bitches!” I told everyone who was sick in proximity to me.
Backstory: I had an incredible immune system before pregnancy. No matter how many passes of cold and flu went around, I never got them. Then I got pregnant, and my body said, Hey, it’s been really nice keeping you healthy and all, but like, I have to grow an actual human now, like a heart and eyeballs and kidneys and all that, so your immunity is gonna have to suffer for a while. Mmkay? Sorry about the shit that is about to go down.
And suffer my immune system did. I got sick every four to six weeks for the next two and a half years.
Early this year though, I was so exhausted from being sick all the time that I bought a super high quality probiotic and wellness formula (and as a result had zero dollars in my bank account), stopped eating sugar completely, and started going to bed earlier.
A month went by that I didn’t get sick. Then two. Then three. I almost finished the year out, but yesterday, at 4:54pm, in the car with C, I went from fine to definitely not fine in the span of one second. One literal second.
“No,” I said, hand going to my throat.
“It’s getting you?”
“It got me.”
I spent the whole night lying to myself. It’s fine, I thought. I can still beat it. I just need to sleep.
Nope. Couldn’t beat it. Couldn’t even sleep. Throat on fire, couldn’t even swallow.
What was the process that was happening in my body, I wonder? Surely it didn’t also go from not sick to definitely sick in one literal second? No; the timeline had to be something like:
Tuesday, Dec 11th: V is sick, cries most of the night, breathes directly into my mouth for 6+ hours, I absorb virus
Wednesday, Dec 12th: V sleeps better, still breathes in my mouth; virus settles in, paints walls and hangs up some art; my immune system is like, Hmm, might be able to contain this, as long as Jennifer does absolutely nothing tomorrow
Thursday, Dec 12th: I get up at 6:25, go to work, go to funeral, go to family’s house, pick up V, go back to family’s house–
4:54pm: Immune system: Code red! Cannot contain! Abort abort abort!
So I’m in bed, sleeping on and off, downing immunity shots and reading Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.
Tomorrow is one of the biggest sales days of the year at work, so I must be better by then. Must must must.