My intention of the day was to spoil V with lots of attention, because I’m going to be gone a lot this week. We decided to go play at a nearby farm/pumpkin patch, and spontaneously met up with a dear friend I haven’t gotten to spend time with in so long, and her son. We … Continue reading
But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses … Continue reading
Earlier today, a commenter asked me if I believe in closure. My exact response to her was: I believe in closure for everyone. Young, old. Long relationship, short relationship. It may not come when you want it. But it will always come. Tonight, that very exact thing happened. To me. When I was in sixth grade, I was in a group … Continue reading
I don’t know about Ayn Rand (I actually trudged through the entirety of Atlas Shrugged), but I do love this quote. Sometimes, during this year and a half that nothing has changed for me professionally despite many promises and almosts, I have lost sight; I have let that fire go out; I have been in … Continue reading
At the playground, the sun is dipping below the trees, and the frantic air possessing all the kids calms down. We can all feel it: the electricity has left the premises. The day is ending. Soon, it will be time for dinner, bath, and bed. And all the parents will breathe a collective sigh. V … Continue reading
The way a place smells can really take me back. I look back sometimes and honestly can’t remember what it feels like to be a teenager. Or to be so heartbroken in my mid-twenties. Today I walked into the gym that I spent years in. It’s had two different owners since I’ve been there and … Continue reading
I can’t believe it’s already been a week since I went to Purpose & Practice. What is P&P? Well, it’s a personal development retreat/yoga + meditation experience/purpose-definining, persona-changing, uplifting weekend of connection. Put on by lululemon, including airfare, food, and accommodations. For free. I’ve been working for lululemon for six years and I am still … Continue reading
Today is October 15th. Five years ago, I came home from work, and as C trimmed his toenails (true story), I said I still didn’t feel like things were okay between us, and he agreed. I never imagined what he’d finally work up to say just twenty minutes later. “I think I need to be … Continue reading
When C and I first dated over ten years ago, we joked about getting married and one day having a baby girl named Violet. That was all innocent flirting then, but now all of it has actually come to pass. Except that the baby is gone, and I have a toddler instead! Where did the … Continue reading
Colic. You never think your baby will have it. Nowhere in the fantasies about holding a sweet bundle of joy do you ever imagine that your bundle will cry with little break for three straight months. We brought V home on the fifth day of her life and sailed through the next couple of weeks … Continue reading
small life, slow life 