Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that a second a mother admits that it’s hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she’s not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn’t add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it’s so hard means she … Continue reading
We’re still nursing. (An alternate title for this post could be: The Very Reluctant Extended Breastfeeding Mom.) It’s not often, once at night and usually once when I get home from work. This wasn’t the plan, not at all how I thought it would go. My goal was to get to a year. Now she’s … Continue reading
I was not at all prepared for the response to yesterday’s post. I haven’t been posting what I’m writing here on any social media channels. Which, of course, is why a whole total of four people have been reading it. But yesterday, something struck a chord and I felt like, You know what, this is a … Continue reading
There were years that I weighed my spinach. Looking at every gram and sticking it into an app to determine my calorie content. I am not kidding about this. I weighed spinach, carrots, and tomatoes. If the calorie count got too high, I took some out. There was a year that the only thing I … Continue reading
Target already emailed me a Black Friday ad. It’s November first. I feel torn about this. On one hand, I love anticipation. We’re going to Mexico next week; we booked the trip in March. I have been savoring the feeling of being excited about Mexico every single week for so long now, like a delicious … Continue reading
Sometimes the day starts at 5:30am and never slows down. Sometimes my daughter cries for me for over thirty minutes when I leave in the morning and leaving actually feels like severing a part of myself. And I cry in the car before I even exit the garage. Sometimes Delta emails to say our flight … Continue reading
Today I heard the words I have been looking forward to hearing my entire life. “Mommy, read to me.” She didn’t have to ask me twice. I spent a lot of time during V’s first year on my phone. To be honest, I was grateful for it: I was so sleep deprived that I needed … Continue reading
“But if you can’t find the right words, why not paint it? You’re an artist, after all.” “If you can’t say it, paint it. That’s easy to say. Not so easy to do, though.” “But it may be important to try, don’t you think?” “And perhaps Captain Ahab should have set out after sardines.” Masahiko … Continue reading
Exactly two-thirds into this process, and I feel like I’m only just getting to the heart of my feelings. Like there were sixty-plus other days of gunk floating at the top that had corroded, and had to be scooped and poured off. Here it is again — sentences running through my mind all day, translating … Continue reading
It happens, every time. Just so you know. I get my stuff together. I lace up my shoes. You come over to me, babble about something. Eventually, it happens. I say, “Okay, I’m going to work. Can you give me a hug?” And you do. That’s not the moment though. It’s five seconds later, when … Continue reading
small life, slow life 