Small Life, is Life: 68/100 {And perhaps Captain Ahab should have set out after sardines.}

“But if you can’t find the right words, why not paint it? You’re an artist, after all.”

“If you can’t say it, paint it. That’s easy to say. Not so easy to do, though.”

“But it may be important to try, don’t you think?”

“And perhaps Captain Ahab should have set out after sardines.”

Masahiko laughed. “Sure, from a safety standpoint. But that’s not how art is born.”

I’m reading Haruki Murakami’s newest book, Killing Commendatore. I’ve long been a Murakami fan, even though some of his books have been big misses for me. But 1Q84 is a favorite, and I can already tell that this one is going to be a favorite of mine as well.

This book is six hundred pages. I started last Thursday and I only have fifty pages left (today is Monday). 🙈 I am wholly devouring it, which is my favorite way to read. His writing style has even invaded my thinking a little bit. I’m thinking in simpler terms — Murakami writes in a very pure, simple way. His books are long but nothing feels wasted. (Well, most of the time. But that’s another blog.)

I read the passage above earlier this morning and it made me wonder how many of us are setting out after sardines, instead of chasing the whale. And I mean, that’s fine, because look at how chasing the whale ended up for Ahab. I think that’s why we set out after sardines, though — we take the littlest vision we think we can attain and most of us are very afraid to reach much bigger than that.

I bought a cute book in Little Tokyo last night called My Little Ikigai Journal by Amanda Kudo.

Why did I buy this book? It is just a spin on all of the work I have done before — years and years of setting goals (especially since starting at lululemon six years ago), tons of work identifying my purpose (a lot of 2018 has been about that), countless times drawing “want/don’t want” circles. Imagining future careers, future homes, and all of the possibilities.

Goal work and purpose work is just who I am. It makes me tick. It’s those quizzes that were in all the teen magazines; I was a sucker every time! I guess I want to always check that I’m not just going after sardines, when I could be going after the whale. 🙂

I love anything like this and will always buy this kind of book. But for some people, choosing a purpose or putting goals on paper makes them feel really anxious. What if they fail? Or what if choosing one path closes the entrances to all of the other paths? I get that too, but I’m the kind of person who always has to feel like I’m on the road to somewhere. I don’t float very well.

What about you?

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