There are these moments that flow like total perfection.
I’m sitting with V on the couch. She’s watching Sesame Street. She is constantly sitting as close to me as possible, sometimes even on me. I am reading the new Murakami, Killing Commendatore. V wraps an arm around mine, plays with the seam on my pants.
We’ve had a good dinner and she didn’t fight me tonight; she ate every morsel. C will be home soon. The cat has joined us in the living room, anticipating the return of his favorite person. (But truth be told, he’s happy to be with us too.)
I enter a state with zero stress. There’s nothing to clean up, the clutter isn’t bothering me, I’m not worried about tomorrow. My phone isn’t buzzing with texts, I don’t have to answer any questions or help anyone, the temperature is perfect. Thoughts vanish completely and I am pure feeling. Just enjoyment.
In these peaceful moments, I feel a buzz of contentment all over my body. It’s the way I feel after an incredible workout, or in the deepest of meditation. (And let’s be real, neither of those happen that often these days.)
One thought comes: I feel so happy. I get happy chills, which seems to be my body saying, Yes, me too.
I scoot closer to V and enjoy it as long as I can. C will come through the door soon, there will be things to do, stuff to put away, tomorrow to think about.
But right here, right now, all conditions of happiness have been exceedingly met. And as much as I want more of this, I know it’s like a butterfly landing on my shoulder. Important, but special and rare.