Being the only day we actually both have off together, Sunday is family day around here. We wake up, have breakfast and coffee, do our errands and play with V, and then we make the six minute drive to C’s parents’ house and all have dinner together.
These days are extra special — I’m sure I’ve mentioned this a thousand times, but my best friend since I was 19 married C’s brother, so they are there on Sundays too. Our kids are cousins and it’s so special to watch them play together.
Something I really appreciate about C’s family is how close they are, and togetherness is a way of operating. It might be something about the Persian culture, and it might be something about the way his parents just are, but they are always wanting to see us, to know what’s going on, to help any way they can, to be involved. I used to really resist that (I used to like to think I was an island and could do everything myself), but now I feel really grateful for their support and help, and genuine concern in all the little details of our lives.
There is always yummy food on Sundays (I’ve joked with C for years that I only married him for his parents’ homemade Persian food), arts and crafts, and usually a dance party for the kids that the adults inevitably join.
Because C’s parents are the kind of people who will invite a new neighbor over for dinner, they found out that someone living on their street worked for lululemon and was the head of HR in the US for many years. They invited her over with her children tonight, so I could meet her and we could chat about working for the company and how things have changed over the years. It was so cool to hear her perspective, and to find out that so much of the infrastructure that is amazing about the company…she created.
As I get older, I truly understand how important our parents are in our lives, and how lucky I am to have a good relationship with all of my parents and in-laws. Having a baby made me realize how fast life goes and that people who care about us are precious.
In the past, I would always have rather been alone if I had free time. I just never really understood the importance of investing in family. Now I understand how much my family (both biological and through marriage) has invested in me, how much they have consistently cared about me and endured me pushing them away. I have probably made them feel really lonely over the years, and I really regret that.
I now feel an urgency to absorb their wisdom and really deeply and truly know them. No one lives forever, and I know there will come a day that I want to call them and won’t be able to.
I’ve made a huge effort this year to be closer to my dad and moms; sometimes they don’t always have time and drive here and see us, but I want V to have so many memories with them and so I do my best to make sure she gets enough time with them.
I also want her to be with her cousins as much as possible. She absolutely worships them; it is so cute!
Family was never one of my core values before I had a baby, but now it’s pretty high up there.
How do you maintain closeness with your family?