The things in life that make me the most tired are being in the places (read: among the people) where I don’t feel fully free. What does “fully free” mean? It means that I can speak my mind, even if my thoughts are small or irritated or petty, and not worry about being loved any … Continue reading
When I started the goal of blogging 100 days in a row, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. But ten days in, I was like, Holy shit — how am I ever going to make it to 100? It was a much bigger goal than I originally anticipated. It takes a … Continue reading
My intention of the day was to spoil V with lots of attention, because I’m going to be gone a lot this week. We decided to go play at a nearby farm/pumpkin patch, and spontaneously met up with a dear friend I haven’t gotten to spend time with in so long, and her son. We … Continue reading
Today, your dad was getting ready to take you to the park, and I was staying behind to get ready for work. I said as much to you, and contrary to the past when you really wouldn’t get it until you were halfway out the door, today you understood. Mommy going to work. You climbed … Continue reading
But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses … Continue reading
I got to be in nature for a long stretch of time today, twice. Which, despite our proximity to the beach and mountains, is not something that happens a lot around here. For the first stretch, I got up at 6:45am and went with Darcy to Topanga Lookout for a sunrise yoga practice & talk … Continue reading
I don’t know about Ayn Rand (I actually trudged through the entirety of Atlas Shrugged), but I do love this quote. Sometimes, during this year and a half that nothing has changed for me professionally despite many promises and almosts, I have lost sight; I have let that fire go out; I have been in … Continue reading
Tonight was the night I just really didn’t want to blog. I had nothing to say, I didn’t feel like it. I just wanted a free pass. I’m just over a third of the way through this #100daysofblogging challenge, and I was getting nervous that I’m already running out of things to say. “Letter Q, … Continue reading
I don’t know how the love between a mother and her child goes wrong. I know that it does, because I see it everywhere. Girls rolling their eyes at their mothers. Snapping between mother and son. Estrangement. Disappointment. But I don’t know how it happens. Maybe it’s just life, and relationships, and similar to the … Continue reading
What I’ve learned about perfect days: They are not sleeping in, enjoying coffee in silence, reading a book on the patio, going to the beach, having lunch with a friend, watching the sun go down, having a date with the husband, watching a movie and falling asleep spooning. They were like that, before. But today’s … Continue reading
small life, slow life 