Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are!
It was not in our plans to buy a house. In fact, I can be a little commitment-phobic, and would have probably been content to rent forever. (The knowledge that I could always break a lease and thus escape is very appealing to me.)
But life had other plans for us, and after spending most of quarantine looking for a house, we found the perfect home and moved out here in October.
We also moved in with my mom, as the prospect of combined households with grandparents is very normal in C’s culture, and we also knew it was what my brother would have wanted. She has her own dwelling space where she can go when V is being too loud (which is often, haha), and she also joins us in the main rooms for a good portion of the day, which brings us all a lot of joy.
Life has changed. When something goes wrong in a house that you own (gophers, ants, leaks, weird mildew smell? all of which occurred in the first month), there’s no landlord to call. “Shit, I’m the landlord!” I thought to myself when I saw the trail of ants a week after we moved in. And it’s become very apparent, as our tagged + protected oak tree in the backyard grows into the house, that we will need a sinkhole fund year round.
But there are other pros of being in our own home that have been so wonderful. Specifically, living with my mom and getting that time together has been very precious to me, and V even more.
The kitchen is definitely everyone’s favorite part of the house. Recently remodeled, it’s super open and was customized to the previous owner’s wife, who loved to bake. I am not much of a baker, but somehow this kitchen has drawn me in and now I’ve been baking daily for three weeks straight. (Everyday, C asks me to please stop — not because it tastes bad, but because it’s affecting our waistlines!)
I’m not big on doing house projects like some other bloggers (I’m still surprised I’m allowed to put nails in the wall), but I will absolutely keep you notified of all the little updates around here! I’d also love all your recs for home blogs out there, since I don’t know the first thing about decorating!
I never would have thought when I started this blog that we’d be on this journey this long together. I couldn’t have ever imagined myself in a home like this. Life is full of surprises — some beautiful, and some so devastating. Over a year later, I am absolutely still buried under the grief of losing my brother — especially poignant now during holiday times. (New sad Taylor Swift albums don’t help, haha.)
It sounds weird, but I absolutely go back and read my own posts about grief during the holidays, and it feels like I’m listening to advice from an old friend, which, I guess in some ways, is true.
Hope you’re having a beautiful December. ❤
It’s great to see you thriving in your beautiful new home and enjoying the little things. I’m sorry to hear the pain of losing your brother is still with you and am keeping you in my thoughts. I hope you find peace and healing.
I found you and your blog almost 6 years ago. I was a young 20 year old who was just dumped by my first boyfriend and couldn’t handle the grief. Your blog truly saved me and I often reflect on that time in my life with mixed emotions, but mostly with gratitude. There have been other boyfriends and I very recently was able to experience a breakup that I initiated. It was very surreal. He tried to come back and I politely declined. Something in me “clicked.” If anyone who has ever broken up with me felt the way I did when I was with my most recent ex, I truly get it. Nothing is more draining than being with someone who isn’t right for you. I feel a lot more humble and less entitled to people’s affection/ attention because of this experience.
I like to pop in every now and then to see what life has brought you. I love seeing your blessings! Thank you for helping me all those years ago. I’m forever grateful ❤️❤️
Tears in my eyes! Thank you, THANK YOU, for sending this. And I really hear you about initiating the breakup — sometimes it’s more painful (in a different way) because of the guilt involved. Fumbling along the way with people we don’t belong with just plain hurts in general!
I am so glad that the blog helped so many years ago. I always promised myself if I ever healed from the pain of my breakup that I’d pay it forward, because I had never known pain like that in my life. It blows my mind that people still read it. And it really touches my soul that you still check in on me from time to time. Absolutely sending you love, Isabella. ♥️