I didn’t notice the darkness give way to the sun streaming through the blinds. I didn’t notice V sleeping beside me, still as a stone, much later than usual. For once in the last few days, my throat didn’t hurt, and snuggled together under warm blankets, we slept on.
If any of that had been different…for instance, if V had woken up at her normal time, or my throat had still hurt, or even if Rolo had meowed like he normally does, I wouldn’t have had the dream that I did. (Since sleep deprivation entered the scene two and a half years ago, I can’t even remember the number of dreams I’ve had on one hand.) I wouldn’t have gotten the message I got, be it from my subconscious, or perhaps somewhere else.
All I know is that I woke up at 9:15am with V breathing deeply beside me. As I recalled the dream, slowly, with ever-emerging clarity, I knew what I had to do next. I know now what I didn’t know on Day 100. The steps unfurled before me, an invisible spool of ribbon rolling across the floor.
I told C today when he was home on a break. He gets a little iffy about dreams and messages and manifesting sometimes (I don’t blame him), but he looked at me and said, “This feels right. This feels like everything adding up, everything falling together. How may I help or facilitate?”
When the new year rolls around, I won’t be here daily anymore. (Don’t worry! I’m still thinking 3 days a week.) I’ll be working on other writing, which has me both really excited and really scared…which is how I know it’s right.
I know the place I need to return to.
I know the call I need to answer.