small life, slow life

Sometimes I think that I want another baby, but then I’m like, Am I crazy?

Still pretty raw over yesterday, I started the day puffy-eyed and went to work. After work, C and I made “the switch,” which is me taking Violet and him going to work. We see each other four about four minutes total. It’s tough, because it’s like going from a full-time job to yet another full-time job, and we’re each doing it alone. I don’t know how people with multiple kids do it.

Granted, this is a particularly tough time. She is in fact two years-old. She has zero patience. She’s very sensitive and cries easily. (And cries a lot. Like…a lot.) Mealtimes are a battle and she truly never stops asking for Elmo. She’s also in a throwing things phase. (Awesome.)

Tonight was one of those nights. Before kids, I would have come home, asked to be alone, and sunk into a super hot bath with a book and maybe some mellow music. Eventually curled up with C and watched a movie. Maybe even fallen asleep on the couch.

That idea makes me laugh now. I’ll be lucky if she goes to sleep early enough for me to clean up and have five minutes to talk to my husband.

Agreeing to blog 100 days in a row is something that sounds just about as crazy to me right now as having another child. How am I going to find the time?! And I’m so stressed that these blogs are going to be so boring. But I committed, and I am rarely one to break my word.

I usually only write when inspiration strikes. Which means, the last two years, during which I’ve mostly been sleep deprived, I haven’t written at all.

But here I am, eight days in. Ben Nemtin said, “The inspiration doesn’t come, and then you do something. The inspiration comes because you’re doing it.”

So I await you, inspiration.